When experiencing feelings of guilt because there has not been enough time, effort, connection or attention spent on those you love most (including yourself), it is important to remember that GUILT is a natural reaction when we do something wrong or bad. When it comes to parenting and not ‘doing enough’ for our children and family because we are pulled in so many directions as well as carry an immense load of responsibility, that is not the same as ‘doing something wrong’. Therefore, GUILT is misplaced and what is really going on hidden underneath is that we are UNBALANCED.
Part of the reason why so many of us Parents are UNBALANCED is because we are so spread thin among so many aspects of life. Work, family, finances, health, home, schedules, school, childcare, relationships, social life, education are among the most common and it easily leads to exhaustion and BURNOUT. Recognizing this is the most important part of creating a more positive and healthier outcome. Once we gain that awareness, it can help re-focus our efforts on maintaining the balance instead of drowning in the GUILT.
When we identify ourselves as a ‘parent’, we think of this as a all-encompassing role that we are locked into and must complete all the responsibilities mentioned above plus more to feel like we are good parents and that we are successful. This is not the case. Being a parent is part of who we are but not all of it. Remembering our 'self' as a critical component is important to remember and SELF-CARE is part of supporting this component. If not, we end up giving and giving too much until we are depleted and that is not good for anyone.
I’ve come up with an exercise below to help Parents shift into a more BALANCED way of feeling in their lives. It can bring more awareness around who you are besides just being an anonymous Parent.
Part of the reason why so many of us Parents are UNBALANCED is because we are so spread thin among so many aspects of life. Work, family, finances, health, home, schedules, school, childcare, relationships, social life, education are among the most common and it easily leads to exhaustion and BURNOUT. Recognizing this is the most important part of creating a more positive and healthier outcome. Once we gain that awareness, it can help re-focus our efforts on maintaining the balance instead of drowning in the GUILT.
When we identify ourselves as a ‘parent’, we think of this as a all-encompassing role that we are locked into and must complete all the responsibilities mentioned above plus more to feel like we are good parents and that we are successful. This is not the case. Being a parent is part of who we are but not all of it. Remembering our 'self' as a critical component is important to remember and SELF-CARE is part of supporting this component. If not, we end up giving and giving too much until we are depleted and that is not good for anyone.
I’ve come up with an exercise below to help Parents shift into a more BALANCED way of feeling in their lives. It can bring more awareness around who you are besides just being an anonymous Parent.
RE-CALIBRATING THE PARENTING ROLE EXERCISE
Follow the instructions below to complete this exercise.
1.) Reflect on your role as a parent. Think about the 3 different categories that create the parenting role.
2.) Write the percentage you feel you would give yourself ( in your current role) in each category and write it inside that circle.
3.) Move down to the blank line underneath the circles and write ups. Write 33.3% on each one of those lines.
(As a parent, we are divided into 3 main parts - the person, the nurturer and the guide. Each one of these are extremely important. When we can give equal amounts of time, energy, money, attention and care, we find ourselves in a more BALANCED STATE. If the the percentages are not equal, this can cause for an UNBALANCED feeling which can leave us feeling empty, confused, unmotivated and feeling guilty.)
4.) Compare the percentage totals. If they are relatively close in equality, this is a good sign that you are balancing all three well and keep moving forward! If they are not, do not worry just try to reflect on which areas of your day/life can be adjusted to help bring more balance which can create for a greater sense of well-being.
Follow the instructions below to complete this exercise.
1.) Reflect on your role as a parent. Think about the 3 different categories that create the parenting role.
2.) Write the percentage you feel you would give yourself ( in your current role) in each category and write it inside that circle.
3.) Move down to the blank line underneath the circles and write ups. Write 33.3% on each one of those lines.
(As a parent, we are divided into 3 main parts - the person, the nurturer and the guide. Each one of these are extremely important. When we can give equal amounts of time, energy, money, attention and care, we find ourselves in a more BALANCED STATE. If the the percentages are not equal, this can cause for an UNBALANCED feeling which can leave us feeling empty, confused, unmotivated and feeling guilty.)
4.) Compare the percentage totals. If they are relatively close in equality, this is a good sign that you are balancing all three well and keep moving forward! If they are not, do not worry just try to reflect on which areas of your day/life can be adjusted to help bring more balance which can create for a greater sense of well-being.
This image, exercise and concept belongs to MISS BEHAVIOUR: PARENTING COACH & CONSULTANT SERVICES
and can not be copied or printed with out permission. All rights reserved. Copyright 2012-2020
and can not be copied or printed with out permission. All rights reserved. Copyright 2012-2020
* For more info on this topic or to learn more about our services - please contact us at Miss Behaviour: parenting coach & consultant services for a complimentary phone consultation at 778-996-6535 or info@missbehaviour.ca
www.missbehaviour.ca
* Learn more about Julie Romanowski - Mother, Coach, Leader, Educator, Author, Speaker & founder of Miss Behaviour: parenting coach & consultant services.
www.julieromanowski.com
www.missbehaviour.ca
* Learn more about Julie Romanowski - Mother, Coach, Leader, Educator, Author, Speaker & founder of Miss Behaviour: parenting coach & consultant services.
www.julieromanowski.com
