Connecting with your Teenager on a Deeper Level

Teens have always been given a bad-rap and are generally the most 'overlooked' age group out of them all. I usually work with younger children - mostly the early years - but I have found that advocating for teens has been my latest pursuit. There are many challenges when it comes to parenting teens however, it's not as difficult as you may think.

I have asked many parents how they CONNECT with their teen on a daily basis and most of them reply with "They don't want anything to do with me anymore! They lock themselves in the rooms, play video games and hang out with their friends. We don't do much together." Although this may be true, it does not mean we stop trying.

​Check out the following TIPS below that help me connect with the teens in my life both personally and professionally....

TEEN CONNECTING TIPS:

• Determine the best ways to COMMUNICATE with them during the day, evenings and on weekends. Some teens do all communication via text or social media and only during class time (haahaa, that's meant to be funny). Decide the options and what works for you and what doesn't.
• Ask them what they want for meals and snacks. Encourage them to grocery shop with you and/or even prepare meals together. Letting them know you remember their favorites is MEANINGFUL. 
• Discuss WHEN you can 'hang out' together whether it's an activity, conversation or events. Teens like being able to have choices around THEIR time and scheduling.
• Acknowledge THEIR experience whether you agree with it or not / like it or not. Most of us just want to be HEARD and acknowledging this as well as validating their feelings goes a long way in connecting with your teen.

Teenagers are caught between being a child and an adult. This grey-zone throws a lot of us adults for a loop because we aren't quite sure if they should treat them as a child or as an adult. What I found in my experience that works best is focus on WHO THEY ARE AS AN INDIVIDUAL rather than their age or what category to put them in. Also, meet them where they are at - in that moment. Avoid drudging up past issues or behaviours as well as future goals you may have for them.

A few more thoughts to leave you with that can help bring you closer to your teenager...

• ​Do you smile or light up when they come into a room?
• Are they fully aware of the schedule and what's happening that day/week?
• How do you validate their opinion or experiences?

Teenagers want and need CONNECTION, LOVE, ATTENTION, CARE + COMPASSION. They can seem like they don't but they do, trust me.

If you want to know more about this topic or have a teen at home that you are having challenges with, please contact me and we can have a chat on how to best navigate through it together.