Connecting with your Teenager on a Deeper Level

Teen have always been given a bad-rap and are generally the most 'overlooked' age group out of them all. I usually work with younger children - mostly the early years - but I have found that advocating for teens my latest pursuit. There are many challenges when it comes to parenting teens however, it's not as difficult as you may think.

I have asked many parents how the CONNECT with their teen on a daily basis and most of them reply with "They don't want anything to do with me! They lock themselves in the rooms, play video games and hang out with their friends. We don't do much together."
​The following TIPS help me be able to connect with the teens in my life both personally and professionally....

TEEN CONNECTING TIPS:

• Determine the best ways to COMMUNICATE with them during the day, evenings and on weekends. Some teens do all communication via text or social media. Decide the options and what works for you and what doesn't.
• Ask them what they want for meals and snacks. Encourage them to grocery shop with you and/or even prepare meals together. Letting them know you remember their favorites is MEANINGFUL. 
• Discuss WHEN you can 'hang out' together whether it's an activity, conversation or issue. Teens like being able to have choices around THEIR time and scheduling.
• Acknowledge THEIR experience whether you agree with it or not / like it or not. Most of us just want to be HEARD and acknowledging this as well as validating their feelings goes a long way in connecting with your teen.

Teenagers are caught between being a child and an adult. This grey-zone throws a lot of us adults for a loop because we just don't know how to act or talk with them. What I found in my experience is focus on WHO THEY ARE AS AN INDIVIDUAL rather than their age or what category to put them in. Also, meet them where they are at - in that moment. Avoid drudging up past issues or behaviours as well as future goals you may have for them.

A few more thoughts to leave you with that can help bring you closer to your teenage boy or girl.

• ​Do you smile or light up when they come into a room?
• Are they fully aware of the schedule and what's happening that day/week?
• How do you validate their opinion or experiences?

Teenagers want and need CONNECTION, LOVE, ATTENTION, CARE + COMPASSION. They can seem like they don't but they do.