PART 2.) TANTRUM RESPONSE
If tantrums have hit, it can seem nearly impossible to deal with it. Here is a 'tantrum tolerance technique' that can help you stay cool and confident.
These are the 3 key points to remember
A.) Stay Safe - ensure your child stays safe as much as possible. Sometimes tantrums can be full-blown and the child can get physical. Only move your child to a safer place if necessary and their health & safety are at risk. Otherwise, try not to physically touch a child during a tantrum, they are in an 'emotional state of mind', not a logical one.
B.) Stay Neutral - This is a critical step in the process as your child will be watching your every move during this time to see how you react to determine how they are going to feel and react. This is where their learning will happen. As tempting as it might be to blow your lid as well, stay neutral and carry on with something else like finishing up dinner for example. Try not to discuss anything or ask any questions and engage your child. Choose 1 phrase to say if needed such as 'first dinner, then dessert' and repeat if necessary. This will show your child that you are firm, cool and in control which will be more effective then engaging in the drama.
C.) Stay Nearby - Your child's tantrum may send you running for the hills but when they are in this very 'insecure' moment, they need to know that you are going to be there for them. This doesn't mean getting involved in the upset or try to smother them in affection but rather stay in eye or ear-shot so they know you haven't abandoned them. Realize that tantrums are a necessary part of development, it is an expression of emotion. Help teach children the skills required and then assist as needed.
The purpose of all of these points is to bring light & awareness to why tantrums are happening. De-coding tantrums into these 2 groups helps Parents to understand more which can bring greater effectiveness and confidence.
Click here to read PART 1 of Decoding Tantrums >>>>>