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Next time your child’s behaviour troubles you, ask the question “What’s the meaning of it all?” As a parent, you may be surprised to find out that daily life experiences – including their children’s behaviour- can reveal essential clues into discovering what’s going on inside you. When a child demonstrates undesirable behaviours and crosses the boundaries, parents have an opportunity to follow through with two goals to get REAL results:

1. Follow through with a discipline routine that may include re-direction or natural consequences.

2. Follow through with a routine of reflecting inwards. Ask yourself, “What does this all mean to me?”

It can be challenging for some to take this journey inward however, as an Early Childhood Consultant and Parenting Coach, this technique is critical as it helps in getting to the root of the ‘problem’ or ‘behaviour’. This is where transformation happens and real results occur. Mirror Reflection Parenting is an extremely effective parenting tool offering many benefits for parents and their children. Any parent can become skillful at it, just like learning a new hobby or practicing yoga and meditation.

Benefits of Mirror-Reflection Parenting: 

1. It allows opportunities for parents to find their true purpose in life and potentially help find the solutions to issues, questions and inner turmoil that they may be experiencing.

2. It can deepen the relationship between parents and children by increasing understanding how children play a significant role in helping parents achieve their very best.

3. It can build more secure and confident children which is the foundation for healthy growth and development.

4. Allows parents to build sustainable parenting skills to help figure out their child’s behaviour now and in the future.

Handling Undesirable Behaviours:

Acknowledgement and Awareness
Be aware of what is going on and acknowledge your child’s feelings even if they seem exaggerated or you don’t agree. This can really help build the trust-bond in the relationship by showing children that they can trust you with their emotions. Then follow through with the expectations and discipline.

Deal with Discipline
Create a ‘discipline plan’ which is a routine for respectful discipline that parents can use every time. This allows parents to work from something structured and prepared rather than from an emotionally charged place that may not be as effective.

Commitment to Consistency
Following through every time with discipline and the ‘Mirror Reflection Technique’, demonstrates to children a parent’s commitment to them which can increase their self-worth and enhance bonding.

Next time your child misbehaves, instead of reacting to the behaviour, just follow through with respectful discipline. Then, take some time to reflect on why this could be happening. Self-reflection can enhance your life and strengthen the relationship between you and your child.

Ultimately it’s a choice for every parent to make however, the invitation to reflect will continue to arise and intensify until you decide to take up that challenge and discover what else is behind the very essence of who you are. Parents who have accepted this understanding find their purpose in life more fulfilling and have a greater sense of gratitude towards their children.

*Article taken from Urban Baby & Toddler Website - http://www.urbanbaby.ca/mirror-reflection-parenting-embracing-the-concept/





Find out more on this topic and many others at www.missbehaviour.ca. Learn more about Julie Romanowski - Mom, Early Childhood Consultant & owner of Miss Behaviour: parenting coach & consultant service.
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behaviour - discipline - tantrums - communication - interactions - daily routines – solutions

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I’m all for involving kids in picking what will be served for meals and snacks. Giving kids the opportunity to choose gives them ownership of their food and an opportunity to express autonomy. 

But, there’s a way to give your child choice that leads down the road of mealtime battles. And, there’s a way that leads to food-confidence. 

Asking your toddler or preschooler “What do you want to eat?” leaves things far too wide open. There’s no room left for you to support him/her to eat a variety of foods from all 4 food groups. And your child may choose something that you don’t have on-hand or you aren’t willing to make. The natural consequence is that you get frustrated and a battle ensues starting with your response of “You can’t have ______. What else do you want to eat?” This series of “wrong” responses will leave a negative impression with your child and will move him/her further away from being open to try new foods.   

The solution? Offer restricted choice. Give your child choices that include foods from similar food groups, foods that you have on-hand, and foods you are willing to prepare. For example, “Would you like apple slices or strawberries?” or “Would you like a grilled cheese sandwich or crackers with almond butter?” This way you keep control of providing healthy, age-appropriate food for your child. And, your child will gain food-confidence because no matter which option she/he chooses, it’s the “right” choice.  

CLICK HERE for a peek at Kristen's "Professional Spotlight!" >>>>>


Kristen Yarker, MSc, Dietitian

Helping Moms and Dads support their picky eaters to try new foods on their own (without being forceful or sneaky)
www.kristenyarker.com
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Looking for new snack ideas that are healthy too?
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Find out more on this topic and many others at www.missbehaviour.ca. Learn more about Julie Romanowski - Mom, Early Childhood Consultant & owner of Miss Behaviour: parenting coach & consultant service.
FACEBOOK PINTEREST TWITTER PARENTING BLOG PARENTING TIPS

"CHILDREN'S BEHAVIOUR&  DISCIPLINE SPECIALISTS!"
behaviour - discipline - tantrums - communication - interactions - daily routines – solutions

Copyright 2014 Miss Behaviour: parenting coach & consultant services. All Rights Reserved. Blogs are for informational & educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional counseling or medical advice, treatment or diagnosis.

It will be difficult to find something else that can turn around a child's behaviour instantly than a serious session of 'quality playtime' . This is where you spend one on one time with your child with NO distractions and really focus on CONNECTION. The investment you will be making is priceless! 

QUALITY PLAYTIME TIPS
 ·        Let your child know when to EXPECT the one on one time (via schedule or daily reminder)
 ·        It should be CHILD-LED. Allow your child to choose a safe & appropriate activity and go along with it
 ·        You can ask your child questions & make comments but most importantly, just LISTEN!
·        Aim for at least 30 MINUTES DAILY or try to work up to that goal (10 minute increments or alternate days)
·        Turn off phones and stop any other possible DISTRACTIONS (like making dinner or folding laundry on the side)
 ·        Get creative and PLAN for other siblings to do something else during this time.

It may seem like an unreal task at first but this is something you can work up to. The 30 minutes suggested acts as a guideline and even if you don’t see your children every day, the main goal here is quality not quantity. Even if Parents spend the whole day with their child, that doesn't necessarily means that they are connected or had a connection that day. This quality playtime is different because it's special....it sends the message that 'kids are worth it'.
 
Learn more about Julie Romanowski - Mother, Coach, Leader, Educator, Author, Speaker & founder of Miss Behaviour: parenting coach & consultant services through her tips, blog, e-newsletter, & articles! 

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You can 'de-code' tantrums by sorting them into 2 separate groups. The first is 'TANTRUM PREVENTION' and the second is 'TANTRUM RESPONSE'.

PART 1. ) TANTRUM PREVENTION
Tantrum prevention is an important piece of the puzzle as this will be a 'proactive' approach which can help decrease tantrums tremendously if not stop them all together. It will be more effective in tackling tantrums versus not doing any prevention and be left dealing with them constantly which is a 'reactive' approach. 

   A.) Increase Sleep - 
One of the main issues behind behaviour in children is lack of adequate sleep. This is a huge issue for a lot of Parents who just seem to 'put up with it' because they don't know what else to do. Toddlers are needing about 12-14 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period for proper growth & development and to just function normally on a daily basis.. {Infants about 14-16 hours and preschoolers about 10-12 hours}. Ensure your child is getting enough sleep as this will help diminish tantrums and behaviours.

 B.) Increase Routine - 
You may have several routines already but if your little tot is misbehaving or having a lot of tantrums, they may not be effective enough. At this early age you can't have enough routines. Children but especially toddlers, thrive on structure and routine. Being able to 'predict' what is going to happen next is a critical component to a child's learning and understanding.

 C.) Increase Attention -
There is a good chance that even though you may be spending every waking minute ( and night time too) with your child, there may not be enough 'attention' in the 'tank'. This is your quality, one-on-one time that you spend with your child with no other distractions or items on the agenda accept for making a true connection. Many Parents admit that this is lacking on a daily basis because they just think they are with them all the time anyway, so what difference does it make. There is a huge difference when you 'top up the tank' of attention as this builds attachment, connection and trust. 

Click here to continue reading PART 2 of Decoding Tantrums >>>>>


Learn more about Julie Romanowski - Mother, Coach, Leader, Educator, Author, Speaker & founder of Miss Behaviour: parenting coach & consultant service through her tips, blog, e-newsletter, & articles! 

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Children screaming, yelling and hitting all day long can leave a lot of Parents feeling frustrated, fed up and stressed! Here are 3 easy ways to help children increase their communication to help keep a more pleasant atmosphere with in the home. 

     1.)     Encourage children to speak instead of 'acting out'.

For example:  Try to ask them to “Use your words!” This may help get their message across in an appropriate way. Explain that no one understands hitting, screaming or yelling but they understand words. If they are young, give them the words to copy such as “Billy, say to your sister ‘I don’t like it’ instead of using your hands”.

     2.)     Ask your children what they DO want rather than focus on  what they don’t want.

For example, if they do the typical whining or screaming when you say it’s bedtime, instead of focusing on not wanting to go to bed, ask them what they do want like story time or turn their sleep time music on. By talking about what they do want, it can leave them feeling more empowered and in control and can leave you feeling more calm.

     3.)     Give CHOICES by giving kids 2 options with in the desired outcome that you are expecting.

For example:  If it’s time to get dressed in the morning, the choices would be ‘do you want the yellow or purple shirt’ OR ‘do you want to choose the clothes or do you want me to?’ Try to avoid asking them if they want to get dressed or not. It would be too easy for them to just say ‘no’ leaving you with a potential power struggle.

Try having a discussion with kids beforehand to let them know new things are happening. This may help them to know what the expectations are. Kids usually love this new found power once they see that they are being heard.
                                                                  

Learn more about Julie Romanowski - Mother, Coach, Leader, Educator, Author, Speaker & founder of Miss Behaviour: parenting coach & consultant service through her tips, blog, e-newsletter, & articles! 

www.missbehaviour.ca

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