It will be difficult to find something else that can turn around a child's behaviour instantly than a serious session of 'quality playtime'. This is where you spend one on one time with your child with NO distractions and really focus on CONNECTION. The investment you will be making is priceless! 

QUALITY PLAYTIME TIPS
 ·        Let your child know when to EXPECT the one on one time (via schedule or daily reminder)
 ·        It should be CHILD-LED. Allow your child to choose a safe & appropriate activity and go along with it
 ·        You can ask your child questions & make comments but most importantly, just LISTEN!
·        Aim for at least 30 MINUTES DAILY or try to work up to that goal (10 minute increments or alternate days)
·        Turn off phones and stop any other possible DISTRACTIONS (like making dinner or folding laundry on the side)
 ·        Get creative and PLAN for other siblings to do something else during this time.

You can 'de-code' tantrums by sorting them into 2 separate groups. The first is 'TANTRUM PREVENTION' and the second is 'TANTRUM RESPONSE'.

PART 1. ) TANTRUM PREVENTION
Tantrum prevention is an important piece of the puzzle as this will be a 'proactive' approach which can help decrease tantrums tremendously if not stop them all together. It will be more effective in tackling tantrums versus not doing any prevention and be left dealing with them constantly which is a 'reactive' approach. 

   A.) Increase Sleep - 
One of the main issues behind behaviour in children is lack of adequate sleep. This is a huge issue for a lot of Parents who just seem to 'put up with it' because they don't know what else to do. Toddlers are needing about 12-14 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period for proper growth & development and to just function normally on a daily basis.. {Infants about 14-16 hours and preschoolers about 10-12 hours}. Ensure your child is getting enough sleep as this will help diminish tantrums and behaviours.

 B.) Increase Routine - 
You may have several routines already but if your little tot is misbehaving or having a lot of tantrums, they may not be effective enough. At this early age you can't have enough routines. Children but especially toddlers, thrive on structure and routine. Being able to 'predict' what is going to happen next is a critical component to a child's learning and understanding.

 C.) Increase Attention -
There is a good chance that even though you may be spending every waking minute ( and night time too) with your child, there may not be enough 'attention' in the 'tank'. This is your quality, one-on-one time that you spend with your child with no other distractions or items on the agenda accept for making a true connection. Many Parents admit that this is lacking on a daily basis because they just think they are with them all the time anyway, so what difference does it make. There is a huge difference when you 'top up the tank' of attention as this builds attachment, connection and trust. 

Click here to continue reading PART 2 of Decoding Tantrums >>>>>

Children screaming, yelling and hitting all day long can leave a lot of Parents feeling frustrated, fed up and stressed! Here are 3 easy ways to help children increase their communication to help keep a more pleasant atmosphere with in the home. 

     1.)     Encourage children to speak instead of 'acting out'.

For example:  Try to ask them to “Use your words!” This may help get their message across in an appropriate way. Explain that no one understands hitting, screaming or yelling but they understand words. If they are young, give them the words to copy such as “Billy, say to your sister ‘I don’t like it’ instead of using your hands”.

     2.)     Ask your children what they DO want rather than focus on  what they don’t want.

For example, if they do the typical whining or screaming when you say it’s bedtime, instead of focusing on not wanting to go to bed, ask them what they do want like story time or turn their sleep time music on. By talking about what they do want, it can leave them feeling more empowered and in control and can leave you feeling more calm.

     3.)     Give CHOICES by giving kids 2 options with in the desired outcome that you are expecting.

For example:  If it’s time to get dressed in the morning, the choices would be ‘do you want the yellow or purple shirt’ OR ‘do you want to choose the clothes or do you want me to?’ Try to avoid asking them if they want to get dressed or not. It would be too easy for them to just say ‘no’ leaving you with a potential power struggle.

Try having a discussion with kids beforehand to let them know new things are happening. This may help them to know what the expectations are. Kids usually love this new found power once they see that they are being heard.​

Contact or learn more about Julie Romanowski - Mother, Coach, Leader, Educator, Author, Speaker & founder of Miss Behaviour: parenting coach & consultant services.

www.missbehaviour.ca
778-996-6535